Why Pretending to Hear Doesn't Help

Why Pretending to Hear Doesn’t Help

Matt DearingCommunity, Family and Friends, Hearing, Hearing Health, Hearing Loss

You’ve been struggling to hear for a while now, but you’re not ready to admit it to your family and friends. You avoid going to places with a lot of background noise, and don’t accept invitations to the pub with friends since you know you’ll never catch what’s being said. You’ve gotten into the habit of nodding and pretending to hear and hoping that your friends won’t ask you any questions. However, pretending to hear doesn’t help, and here’s why.

Meeting New People

Your friends have convinced you to meet them for a drink, and you strike up a conversation with someone you’ve never met. It was going great, and you’re really bonding, but then the moment you’ve been dreading comes, and the next song is so loud that suddenly you can’t hear a thing they’re saying. You start to panic, and rather than stopping them, you smile and nod, pretending you can still hear. He was telling you a story about his dog, and you’re trying to keep up, but soon you lose the thread of the conversation, and you’re completely lost. Then he asks you a question. Your brain is completely overloaded, you can’t think straight, and you hope it was a yes or no question.

You know how this story ends. Your new friend looks confused or offended, finds a way to end the conversation, and turns to talk to the person on the other side. You sit there feeling embarrassed, hoping that whatever you said wasn’t too terrible.

Why Are You Pretending to Hear?

If you’ve been pretending to hear for a long time, then you’ve likely faced a lot of embarrassing situations. So why keep pretending? Sometimes it’s a simple as not wanting to disrupt the flow of conversation, but often it’s because you don’t want anyone to know you’re struggling to hear. Admitting to hearing loss feels too much like admitting that you’re getting older, and you aren’t ready to face that yet. Everyone pretends now and then, particularly in places with a lot of noise. Even someone with perfect hearing can’t catch a joke someone told at the other end of the table, but they laugh anyways. However, pretending to hear when you have hearing loss can be a big problem.

The Danger of Pretending

Pretending to hear can have some serious repercussions. Say you’re in a meeting at work and you only hear half of what’s been said. No one at work knows you have hearing loss, and you’re too embarrassed to ask for clarification. You leave the meeting confused about your assignment, and risk making some major mistakes that will hurt your career.

When it comes to communicating with your family, pretending to hear will put you in some pretty hot water. If your spouse shares something important with you, and you’ve “forgotten” it a few hours later, they’ll think you weren’t paying attention and will be justifiably upset. But what if you were paying attention, and actually didn’t hear what they told you?

Admitting You Have Hearing Loss

It’s time to honor your relationships and admit that you have hearing loss. Family, friends, and colleagues all want to include you, and will be happy to help you hear if they know you’ve been struggling to hear. Pretending to hear is a temporary fix that will always get you into trouble later, so break the habit of pretending, and start practicing habits that help you hear. For example, rather than asking someone to repeat themselves, and risk not understanding it a second time, ask for the background music to be turned down, or to swap seats with someone sitting at the front of the meeting. If you’re open about your hearing loss, your friends will have no problem helping you hear.

Treating Hearing Loss

If you have hearing loss, visit us at My Hearing Centers for a hearing assessment. We’re hear to help you get back to hearing, so you’ll never have to pretend to hear ever again. We work with top hearing aid manufactures that make sophisticated hearing devices. Some are so small you can’t even see them. No one will notice your hearing aid or think it makes you look old. All they’ll be noticing is how well you’re hearing.